Good mourning and wlcome to International Hangover day, the aftermath of International Beer Day! I hoe your international Beer Day was as fun and eventful as mine!
Now as mayor of this fine holiday I would lik to address the accusation going around this year that Internatal hangOver da has sold out. That is simply not tru! Just because this year's holiday has been sponsered by PainGo! pain relief doesn't mean any thing has chnged here in Headache Land. though I sure am glad I took mine this morning! And how speedy the relief is! I'm feeling bettr already! In fact I've gone ahead nd taken all my Advil and Tylenol out of my medicine cabinet, marched it out the front door of my new beachside condo and thrown it straight into that hole in the gutter with that fish painting on it.
Just kidding! I had my live-in maid do that fr me. In fact I haven't even goten out of bed yet! And not because I can barely move my eyes without feeling like I'm on a sailboat in a sea of turbulent vomit , but because I've simply never felt anything so delightfully smooth as my new silk sheets, imported all the way from Marrakesh!
Now don't worry, I won't bore you with the numerous merits of this hearty pain reliever, though it'd be a crime not to! I mean I keep a dish full of them on my coffee table and hand them out to visitors like Werhter's Originals. And when the trick or treaters come by...Don't get me started! Let's just say I've got quite the reputation on my block... Afterwards the kids always come back to toss me their old tomatoes and toilet paper, but with pain relief this good who needs a bloody mary and a roll of vomit rags to get the day started?!
PainGo! pain relief is great for all kinds of aches and pains, like:
- excessive nibbling
- that scene from Reservoir Dogs with the ear thing
I could go on. In fact my contract states I have to.
PainGo! is also great for:
- polo injuries
- having to watch a game of polo
- gouging your eyes out on account a' you're Oedipus
- biting the inside of you're mouth
- biting the inside of someone else's mouth
- recovering from jaw surgery after Alex bet you couldn't fit a whol- oh wait, I just had to list ten things.
Moving on, I'd just like to reassure everyone that the spirit of International Hangover Day is still as strong as ever. Almost as strong as the pain relief PainGo! disperses throughout my body every 1st Saturday of August. In fact I'm ready for an ice cold one as soon as I pop two of these sexy capsules into the old word-dispensor!
Now I know what you're thinking: Isn't it dangerous to take PainGo! with alcohol and an empty stomach?
(Mr. Araki had to run off to his tennis date with Serena Williams and Heidi Klum, but on behalf of him and myself (his personal secretary Hilga) we wish you Peppy PainGo! Hangover Day!)
Bottles photo courtesy of John-Paul Verkamp.
House photo courtesy of Martin De Lusenet.Read More...